The Room

In Defense of Hufflepuff

Tue, 28 Feb 2012 22:50:00 -0500

I need to discuss something: Hufflepuff. Without a doubt, Hufflepuff has the worst reputation of all the Houses, far surpassing that of even Slytherin – Slytherin may be known as the “evil” House, but at least it’s filled with ambitious people of immense talent. No, Hufflepuff is the House of leftovers, the students not worthy of any of the other Houses. People abhor Hufflepuff. It’s amazing the degree to which everyone I know recoils at the thought of being associated with the House.

Let’s look at what the Sorting Hat has to say:

You might belong in Gryffindor,
Where dwell the brave at heart,
Their daring, nerve, and chivalry
Set Gryffindors apart;
You might belong in Hufflepuff,
Where they are just and loyal,
Those patient Hufflepuffs are true
And unafraid of toil;
Or yet in wise old Ravenclaw,
if you’ve a ready mind,
Where those of wit and learning,
Will always find their kind;
Or perhaps in Slytherin
You’ll make your real friends,
Those cunning folks use any means
To achieve their ends.

Said Slytherin, “We’ll teach just those
Whose ancestry’s purest.”
Said Ravenclaw, “We’ll teach those whose
Intelligence is surest”
Said Gryffindor, “We’ll teach all those
With brave deeds to their name.”
Said Hufflepuff, “I’ll teach the lot
And treat them just the same.”

People point to the fact that Hufflepuff agreed to “teach the lot” as proof that those in the House do not possess the talents found in the other Houses, chief among them intelligence, surety of triumph, and bravery. Because we get to know very few Hufflepuffs throughout the series, there is almost no character depth developed through those particular House members – as a result, Hufflepuff seems somewhat two-dimensional. Moreover, we never witness a Hufflepuff really standing apart as a significant character, with the possible exception of Cedric Diggory and Tonks. Yet even they were never recognized as individuals with enough worth to the story to become vital to the plot – Cedric was just a generic “nice guy,” and Tonks, while amusing and charming, never proved to have any staggering skills or characteristics that would have set her apart as an integral part of Harry’s world. In fact, her importance seemed to develop only in relation to her romance with Lupin; if it wasn’t for this, I doubt she would have become any more than a mere background character. I have a real problem with all of this, and it’s time to explain exactly why, after ten years of pondering what House I would most like to be in, I can declare with absolute surety now that it would, in fact, be Hufflepuff.

It is not that Hufflepuffs lack the qualities found among the other houses, it is that they do not value those traits above all else. I find the specific importance of those characteristics in the other Houses to be a weakness rather than a strength. So much emphasis is placed upon living up to a certain reputation that there is far less opportunity for those Houses’ students to step back and discover who they really are beyond who they believe they should be. In Hufflepuff, success is not treasured as the penultimate goal, as it is in Slytherin; rather, it is the effort, the hard work, the toil, sweat, and blood put into an attempt that determines the degree of accomplishment. Bravery is not necessarily revealed through grand acts of valor and sacrifice; oftentimes, courage is the ability of a person to just get up day after day and try their best to do right by his or her self and by others when it would be far easier to give up. Intelligence in and of itself is not a sufficient thing to spend one’s time seeking; knowledge used to benefit others is knowledge well-earned, for wisdom is gained through experience and failure, not merely by racking up IQ points and scouring a library for unread books. This is not to say that Hufflepuffs do not highly value every single one of those characteristics, it is simply that those traits are not the penultimate ones representative of the house. Hufflepuffs are not merely the leftovers that do not fit into any other house. The fact of the matter is that they place loyalty, hard work, and finding happiness above what others believe would deem them successful, brave, or intelligent.

I will fully admit that I personally have devoted much of my life to achieving my goals, standing up for what is right, and almost obsessively applying myself to academics because that is where my strengths lie. But allow me to be entirely frank: enduring a bout of severe depression within the last year and a half has left lasting effects within me, primarily among them realizing that those qualities no longer matter to any significant degree in my life. I know now that I am never going to be the President of the United States, nor a winner of the Nobel Peace Prize, nor a woman who has biographies about her filling library shelves; but I have already learned that I will continue to try my damnedest, even if the best I can do some days is to get out of bed, get dressed, wash my face, and get through the day. Awards, riches, and recognition do not necessarily reflect success, intelligence, or bravery, for every person is fighting his or her own battles within themselves. If I do the best I can with what I have, then I am a success to myself. If I get up and face the day, if I own up to and accept the fact that my depression does indeed exist within me, and no, I am not the perfect person who I always anticipated being, then I am brave. If I come to terms with the reality that the most mentally deficient failure of a person may be a thousand times happier than the genius lauded as the ultimate success story, then I have the knowledge that I need. I have lost many friends and been betrayed by those I loved. I have been looked at as a disappointment. And lord above, I have been in the darkest, dankest corners of unhappiness. But if I am loyal to those who deserve it no matter how many times I myself have felt used and abused, if I am proud of what I have achieved given circumstances which not everyone may comprehend, and if I can feel the warmth of the sunshine again and once more have my eyes crinkle up in a genuine fit of laughter, then I know who I am and I will be damn pleased with that girl, despite any lack of determined ambition, audacious bravery, or spark of brilliant wit that others may perceive. I’m a Hufflepuff, and damn glad about that.

P.S. - Also, just for the record, I want to note that less witches and wizards turned bad from Hufflepuff than from any other House. Take that, high-and-mighty Gryffindors.

Romantic Love in HP

Sat, 04 Feb 2012 19:07:33 -0500

We all know that love plays probably the most central role of any concept in the series, but as I’ve previously noted, much of that love centers around the devotion of a mother to her child or that found between friends. Today, however, I want to talk about the vast array of romantic love that is exemplified by JK throughout the books, even if it does take a backseat to other types of care.

Perhaps the most widely discussed relationship from the entire series is that of Snape and Lily. Readers’ opinions on the subject vary from proclaiming it as the love story of our time to entirely discrediting the idea that Snape even truly understood what love was. I think I fall somewhere in the middle of these two extremes: I see Snape as a man who loved as best as he knew how, only to discover too late that what he comprehended as love would undeniably be marked by pain – for both he and Lily – if he pursued it further. Thus, he yielded to the fact that regardless of the path he chose, he was destined to be hurt by this love, but he still had the chance to save Lily from that same pain. So he let her go. In my opinion, he resigned himself to the fact that she was happier with James and didn’t seek to disrupt that, although that didn’t stop him from wishing that things had turned out differently. The worst memory of his entire life was the day when he let the word “Mudblood” slip out while referring to her, and while he regretted every moment after saying such a thing, it is a perfect example of a relationship that is crumbling beneath the feet of those involved, and yet they refuse to recognize the fact that it is over until there is a defining argument to attribute “the end” to. Many times, those involved wish that they could take back the words that began the final fight, but doing so would only have prolonged the inevitable. Snape’s childhood and his choice in friends were the hands guiding him down the dark path that he ended up following, and sadly it seems that he was, in many ways, destined to pursue that direction. His friendship with and love for Lily was an unexpected disturbance in that fate, and it just did not fit in with the life that was planned for him and that he so easily fell into. Square peg, round hole. Sometimes love is not enough. No passion, no care, no friendship, no boundless devotion can outweigh the burden that presses down upon two people who are simply not meant to be together for whatever reason. Snape’s love for Lily began purely, but after her death it became an obsession, his entire being fixated on what he should have differently, on if it could have worked out if only, if he himself was responsible for her murder and what that meant about himself. I am personally of the opinion that, had Dumbledore not given Snape the task of protecting Harry as a purpose in his life, Snape likely would have killed himself. It is clear that he was miserable at every moment after he lost Lily – both emotionally and physically – and it seems to me that Snape’s sole reason for continuing to live was an attempt to posthumously make amends with Lily. Snape tortured himself endlessly about not being a different person (more specifically, not being James) who could have deserved and won the love of Lily, and his continuing to live after her death was another extension of this self-masochism.

Thinking about Lily always makes me wonder what the relationship between she and James really was. There was so little background revealed about their love in the books that it has always made it difficult to believe that they were ~*OMG MEANT FOR EACH OTHER*~. Maybe it’s just me, but my gut reaction has always been that Lily somehow settled for James. Lily detested James for years, but he continued to pursue her, and suddenly she likewise fell for him. It was probable that their mutual participation in the Order helped to bring them closer, but did she realize that he was so much more than she’d always thought, or that she had always loved him deep inside? Or was it that she came to recognize that James could love her in a way that Snape never could, and that was good enough? She knew that Snape would never be able to love her or respect her and her ideals in the way that she needed, and she also knew that James could – no matter how she felt in return. I have no doubt that Lily cared for James deeply, but do I believe that she felt as passionately about him as Snape did about her? No, I do not. This is, again, most likely because almost nothing was shown of their courtship or marriage in the series; but if I had to take a guess as to what type of love JK was really hinting at between the two of them, it would be the good enough love. There comes a point when the need for a life without pain overrules the desire for a life with overwhelming passion, as, I suspect, Lily well knew.

Another highly intriguing adult pairing (at least in my opinion) is that of Narcissa and Lucius Malfoy. Readers don’t see all that much behind-the-scenes in their relationship, yet I do get the sense that they were one of those couples who really needed a disaster to understand how much they depended on and respected one another. But granted, it’s difficult to interpret their relationship because of how important upholding facades towards the outside world are to the both of them. Thus, how much of Narcissa’s care for Lucius is borne out of the desire to “keep up appearances,” and how much is genuine? As is common for many Pureblood couples, there is widespread suspicion that Narcissa and Lucius were part of an arranged marriage rather than beginning as a real couple. I think that regardless of their love’s origins or some of their motives for portraying it, the Malfoys have a deep admiration and compassion for one another; they are, perhaps, two people who became involved out of convenience and tradition, grew to love each other, and gradually became entangled in a desperate situation that increasingly tested whether or not their devotion could last beyond the scope of seeking power, influence, and wealth. As it turns out, we as readers never are able to learn what exactly happened between the Malfoys after the second Wizarding War, but I tend to think that they attempted to rebuild their lives together because through it all – just as other couples deal with crises and tragedies – they experienced the reemergence of Voldemort together: the rise, the pride, the fall, the attempt at redemption, the failure, the disgrace, the abuse, the fear.

At first I was really rather averse to the idea of a Remus-Tonks relationship for a number of completely valid reasons: she was somuch younger than him, he was a werewolf and was constantly fighting his own personal demons, and they should have been concentrating on the fact that a war was in progress rather than allowing themselves to be distracted by the drama that a relationship would undoubtedly create. Why, at the end of HBP when members of the Order were crowded around Bill Weasley’s hospital bed, Lupin himself rattled off these same complications that he had been thinking about, and when he did I felt even more justified for disliking the pairing. Even in the face of an upset Tonks begging him to give the relationship a chance, Lupin was as he always was – calm, rational: “I am not being ridiculous. Tonks deserves somebody young and whole.” And then Arthur Weasley said something that made me realize that both Lupin’s and my own objections to the couple were entirely ludicrous: “But she wants you. And after all, Remus, young and whole men do not necessarily remain so.” Who can argue with that? Remus and Tonks represent the fact that there will always be excuses why something will not work, why two people should not be together, and many times those reasons are legitimate. But even so, what use is listening to those excuses if they end up making both people miserable without each other? Tonks and Lupin are the epitome of pushing aside the ifs, ands, and buts and finally saying, “We love each other, and maybe it will be a mess, but let’s figure that out together.”

It is strange to think of Dumbledore ever having been in love because, like Harry, most readers have a hard time imagining a Dumbledore who was not old, wise, and bearded. But however brief, I find it interesting that Dumbledore’s feelings toward Grindelwald when they were teenagers are really the best case in the books for showing just how strong youthful infatuation can be, and how that sort of attraction can lead to dangerous situations and bad decisions. Dumbledore’s obsession with Grindelwald caused him to turn a blind eye to the reality of what type of person Grindelwald really was. Just as nearly every schoolgirl has at one point or another secretly lusted after the “bad boy,” I believe that Dumbledore was so caught up in the thrill of finding someone just as brilliantly intelligent and ambitious as he, not to mention the experience of falling in love for the first time, that he would have refused to hear a word against Grindelwald even had someone attempted to put a stop to their friendship. It is that excitement that causes common sense to falter, and when something finally does occur to bring reality crashing back down, it serves as a slap in the face that can be downright brutal. Grindelwald’s feelings for Dumbledore extended just far enough to plot a rise to power together, but when the shit hit the fan, he ran instead of taking responsibility and helping his best friend. Grindelwald’s fight with the Dumbledores and his immediate disappearance after possibly killing Ariana was such a betrayal of Albus that I doubt he ever really recovered – not only from his guilt for being involved in the situation, but also from the pain at discovering the ugly truth that often lies beneath that which seems so perfect.

While the portrayal of Ginny and Harry in the films has turned me away from being a huge fan of theirs, I do think their relationship is an important one to represent in the series. Harry could have had virtually any girl he chose simply because of his fame, and for a long time he took no notice of Ginny, thinking her simply the little sister of his best mate and nothing more, even as she secretly (and sometimes not-so-secretly) longed for him from afar – “I never really gave up on you. Not really.” Yet she gradually became part of his support system, accepting that even if he never returned her affection, she still genuinely cared enough about him to want to be in his life even if it was only as a friend. Ginny was the person who Harry didn’t ever expect to have feelings for, yet when he first thought that perhaps she really was the right one for him, it was a case of realizing that he had missed seeing what was standing right in front of him all along.

Ron and Hermione are the absolute classic example of friends-turned-lovers, two halves of a whole, yin and yang. However, I’ve already discussed their relationship in depth in a previous post, so… go read that one if necessary.

Lastly, there’s Arthur and Molly Weasley, who, in my opinion, have one of the best relationships in the series, and they just balance one another out so well. They were school sweethearts – probably each other’s first and only loves if I had to guess – and here they are, however many years later, doing a wonderful job of raising a large family on little money and keeping the love alive between them. Arthur and Molly are JK’s way of showing very pure and simple love that, when found, seems to lead the way to happiness in whatever form that appears for different people. Love is the absolute foundation of the Weasleys’ existence, and their entire family speaks so much to the strength of untainted, innocent, uncomplicated love from start to finish.

An Imperfect Plot, A Perfect Story

Mon, 02 Jan 2012 16:49:34 -0500

There are a fair number of people who complain about what they perceive as flaws in the Harry Potter series, many of which revolve around J.K.’s missed chances to wrap the plot up with a nice little bow on top. To those readers I feel obligated to ask, “Did you completely miss the point of it all?” The thing that sets HP apart from most other books is that, despite being part of the fantasy genre, they are often uncomfortably realistic. The thing that sets Rowling apart from most other authors is her willingness to write an imperfect tale if doing so will contribute to its truth. Sure, she could have had all loose ends tied up – and I admit that upon my first reading of HP7, I was deeply frustrated by her refusal to do so. But with further reflection, I’ve realized how much a “perfect” plot would have damaged what she was trying to say with the series. War is not fair. Life is not fair. Love is not fair. All of it, the good and bad, is a messy, complicated, convoluted affair that rarely ends up the way you would expect it to along the way. Perhaps more importantly, just because the books came to a conclusion, the story did not end. There are no neatly packaged endings in life either, no truly clean breaks. Rowling’s readiness to tell the truth about the way things are – about how imperfect they are – is what results in perfection by the end of the series.

One of the biggest, “NOOO SHE DID NOT WHYYYYY?!” moments in the series came when Fred was killed. Fred, everyone’s favorite character, one half of an inseparable pair, the comic relief – if anyone was supposed to be immune to the horrors of war, it should have been Fred and George. I doubt anyone wanted the Weasley family to have to deal with the death of one of their members, especially Fred. Fred and George were the unexpected success stories of the series, as readers watched them grow from immature pranksters to rebels with a cause to thriving businessmen to unrestrained warriors – and then to see one of the pair senselessly killed (by a wall collapsing, not even in the midst of an intense bout of combat) was painful and confusing. Everyone knows that Hermione, Ron, and Harry could not be separated, but if there was one other set of characters who were more indivisible than the Trio, it was Fred and George. It wasn’t fair for Fred to die, nor was it fair that George should never be able to rebound from his death in the future. After the Battle of Hogwarts, George was incapable of producing a Protonus forevermore, because every one of his happy memories was inextricably tied to Fred. I would have sacrificed nearly any other character in place of Fred, but war doesn’t let you pick and choose who it’s going to steal away, and neither did J.K.

Bellatrix Lestrange tortured Neville’s parents into insanity, effectively orphaning him, and when the opportunity arose, she taunted him about it. A significant portion of HP fans insist that it should not have been Molly who killed Bellatrix, as she had no intimate connection to Voldemort’s right-hand woman; most say that Neville is the one who should have slaughtered his parents’ destroyer. In an ideal world, Neville would have come face-to-face with his past and conquered it. But war doesn’t follow the rules of “should.” And when I think about it more, I realize that Molly was the perfect person to take down Bellatrix, in her own way: Molly is the ultimate mother-figure in the books, and Bellatrix is, well, the opposite of that. Bellatrix mocks Molly over the death of Fred, she was ready and willing to surrender the life of Draco – her own nephew – just to further the ambitions of Voldemort, and she was, of course, never a mother herself. In the face-off between Bellatrix and her antithesis, perhaps it would have been more satisfying for Neville to get direct revenge in his parents’ honor, but for the purposes of greater themes (rather than gut-level instincts crying for vengeance), Molly was the better choice. It’s also worth looking at that Molly, who is considered “good” through and through, out-and-out murdered another character. She may be a heroine, but that does not make her unsusceptible to rage and the desire to kill when she deems it necessary. The “good” people are not utterly untainted – war does not allow them to remain so.

Another note about Neville: he doesn’t end up with Luna. I’ve already stated that I happen to think they would have been utterly ideal together, and I’m always disappointed when I reach the epilogue and realize that love affair never happens. BUT. Sometimes it’s the girl in the background that the hero winds up with, not the one who has fought by his side. If Rowling had conveniently matched up all of the main characters into happy sweet relationships, any sense of realism that she had achieved in writing their romances would fly out the window (and not on the handle of a Firebolt into the moonlight…) The truth is this: nobody can help who they fall in love with, or who they do not. That in and of itself is a fact of life that most people – including me – find endlessly difficult to accept.

When it comes to the twist in a series, traditional writing techniques dictate that the author use it as a dramatic gasp-worthy climax, the literary version of a shot of adrenaline rushing through the reader’s veins. Yet Rowling takes this concept and turns it on its head during “The Prince’s Tale,” which is almost unquestionably that moment in the series. There is naturally that “a-ha!” sense when the truth about Snape is finally revealed in the Pensieve, yet when Harry withdraws his head from the surface, the reader feels only a sense of confusion and emptiness in the pit of his or her stomach , not a surge of adrenaline and triumph. Harry’s walk to the Forest makes Rowling’s revelation about Snape – a fact that had been heatedly debated since the very beginning of the series – seem almost meaningless, irrelevant. Then there is a second point regarding Snape’s life and death that I would like to raise: the atypical hero is nearly always recognized for his contributions prior to his death, if only as a sort of author-initiated amends toward a character who was somewhat unjustifiably reviled throughout the course of an entire story. But when Snape dies in Harry’s arms, he does so without anyone alive knowing the truth about him, the boy staunching the blood flow from his wounds looking at him not in sudden understanding, but only with horror at the brutality. Harry did not mourn the loss of Snape while Snape was still alive to see it. Nobody knew the truth about Snape before he died, and he left the world in the presence of the boy who had hated him since the day they met, fearing that he had failed his promise to protect Lily’s son, staring into eyes that reminded him of the love that he had lost years earlier, in a face that was the splitting image of the man who he believed stole that love from him. There’s no denying that J.K. knows how to write tragedy.

Another significant character twist came in the form of Malfoy, who many readers expected to befriend Harry upon his own inability to murder Dumbledore. In the Epilogue, Rowling makes it clear that the two never made amends, much less became friends, which is a significant departure from the classic portrayals of reformed antagonists. Some people will never like one another, and some history is not so easily smoothed over by a change of heart. Draco and Harry understand one another better by the end, and although that is not saying much for the relationship whose dynamics formed a consistent pressure and hostility throughout the series, it is the most that could possibly be expected from those two. Perhaps another writer would have seen the potential to fully reverse Malfoy’s character in another stunning turn-around, or would have used a reconciliation between Malfoy and Harry as proof that people can move beyond prejudices and preconceived notions. To me, doing so would have been just a bit too convenient, and while a “lesson” could have been spelled out, it would not be indicative of reality. The peace that comes at the end of a war does not denote the resolution of all friction that began it, it sometimes merely signifies that one or both sides are simply too weak or tired to continue fighting. Many times the best possible outcome would just be a degree of understanding between the two sides, and this is what occurred between Harry and Draco by the end of the series: not friendship or alliance, but a sense that both young men understood where the other had come from and why they had acted as they did, regardless of what those actions were.

There is a massive movement among the HP fandom that desperately wants J.K. to write a prequel to the series detailing the lives of the Marauders. I may be one of the few that strongly rejects such an idea. One of the most basic facts of life is that none of us know our parents fully, as we were not present for their youth before our births, and no amount of storytelling can allow us to feel that we understand their history inside and out. I know the concept of J.K. writing another book that delves into the dramatic narratives of the Marauders is tantalizing, but should we know more about the past of Harry’s parents than Harry himself did, the connection between us as readers and Harry would no longer be one of equality. Throughout the series we knew just what Harry did, and while there were a couple of exceptions in which we glimpsed happenings through the eyes of other characters, we never had a sense of knowing some grand truth that Harry did not. Harry desperately wanted to understand his parents and the lives that they had lived, but he will never be able to, just as we will never be able to with our own parents; while it is an unfortunate fact, it is vital that Rowling remained faithful to those larger realities about life, or else the whole purpose of the series would be jeopardized.

I’m revisiting the topic of the Deathly Hallows. I will fully...

Thu, 15 Dec 2011 20:45:50 -0500

I’m revisiting the topic of the Deathly Hallows. I will fully admit that I was originally seriously disappointed by the big revelation of what they were – I thought that maybe J.K. had finally fallen into the trap of writing an interesting plot at the expense of finding something deeper in the story. In short, I thought that the Hallows were a cheap way of upping the excitement of the seventh book, a way of convincing readers that there was more to the story than camping on moors. I guess my primary problem was that the Hallows were not what made Harry “Master of Death” when he defeated Voldemort; in my mind, I was expecting him to, like, be wearing the cloak and battling Voldemort with the Elder Wand while the specters of all Harry’s lost loved ones rushed to his defense or some nonsense. It was so disappointing to me that there was never that epic culmination of the three parts of the Hallows.

But now I’m older and wiser. Or, at the very least, I have had much more time to mull over the Hallows, and after the past year’s events in my own life, I think I finally get it. It’s balance, and it’s imperfection. I’ll talk about the significance of J.K. telling an imperfect tale another time, but for now I will say that yes, I still feel that the climax of any other traditional fantasy novel would feature Harry uniting the Hallows and winning through that. So Harry Potter doesn’t follow the lines of traditional fantasy; no surprise there. But I realize now that the point of the Deathly Hallows – despite their title – was not to reveal a secret to conquering death but was, rather, a means of understanding how to live. Maybe those two things seem interchangeable, but they are not, and J.K. is very clear in expressing that sentiment throughout the series. Voldemort survived for decades, but did he ever live at all? We could argue for ages about the differences between living and existing, but that’s not the point of this post. If the Hallows were used to kill Voldemort, it would have completely discredited their message about living.

Here’s my primary discovery about the Hallows (and keep in mind that I feel like I keep realizing more and more about them every day): they show us how to live the type of life that would allow us to someday greet Death “as an old friend,” with few regrets. Doing so would require us to accept our faults and weaknesses, and refuse to let them bring us down; yet we also would not allow our talents and strengths to overtake us. Flaws make us human, and accepting this additionally makes us stronger in a way that someone who relies purely on his or her strengths to get through life (something that Voldemort never understood). Maybe this will make more sense if I break it down – or maybe what I’m trying to say will just continue to get more and more convoluted. If that’s the case, feel free to stop reading at any time.

I’m going to reserve analysis of the three “Lost Boys” of Hogwarts for another post, but I will at least announce who they are for the sake of this conversation: Harry, Snape, and Voldemort.

So first there is the Elder Wand. It was chosen by Antioch Peverell, the one who died for power. Personified, the Elder Wand would be Voldemort, and his character is mirrored by Antioch: the eldest of the Lost Boys (or the eldest brother), a combative man who sought to both embarrass and conquer Death. Antioch’s downfall was his thirst for power, as was Voldemort’s.

Then we have the Resurrection Stone. This reward from Death was requested by Cadmus Peverell, the one who sought a dead love. Snape quite clearly aligns with the tale of the Stone: the middle of the Lost Boys (or the middle brother), he was an arrogant man who was “driven mad with hopeless longing.” Cadmus was greedy and dragged back his lost love from Death, where she belonged. In the end, Cadmus’ obsession with this lost love drove him to commit suicide as a means of joining her. For all intents and purposes, Snape, too, gave his life out of a deep and obsessive love for Lily Potter that consumed his existence long before he met his physical death at the jaws of Nagini.

And, finally, there is the Invisibility Cloak. With it, Ignotus Peverell greeted death as an old friend. Not only is Harry a direct descendent of Ignotus, but his character and motivations parallels the story of the Cloak directly. The youngest of the Lost Boys (or the youngest brother), he was sought after by Death for many years – Harry had been marked for death since he was just one year old. When Harry walked into the Forbidden Forest, he had accepted that it was finally his time to die, and in doing so he met Death “as an old friend.” Ignotus, like Harry, was a humble man who did not aim to embarrass nor conquer Death.

And so we have the Deathly Hallows: the ultimate prescription for living the best life possible, sought by three very different men who each had their flaws and their strengths, both admirable and contemptible. To truly live would be to find the equilibrium between the three Hallows and what they represent, to understand the importance of temperance in all, and to accept an existence in the “gray area” of in-betweens and balance – something that I, for one, have yet to figure out how to accomplish.

Embrace and maximize all of the power that lies within you, but be humble about your successes. Had Antioch not bragged about his unbeatable Elder Wand, he would not have been murdered the very same night that he won it. Yet respect should be granted for refusing to accept defeat and seeking to rise above your opposition every time you are faced with it. There are some things worth fighting for – but not everything. It is okay to fail. In fact, strength is built moment by moment, setback by setback, so slowly and gradually that you often don’t even recognize it. Strength and power are that first breath of air that you take every time you claw your way out of the rubble of another letdown; it cannot be granted to you as a gift, nor seized as a prize, as was the Elder Wand.

Love deeply and endlessly, but do not sacrifice your own days and years over what you have lost. There is no shame in a broken heart, but only if you realize that that heart – however bent, bruised, and damaged – belongs to you and you alone, and that obsession will neither bring back that which you have lost, nor will it make your heart whole again. Wishing that you could alter the past does nothing but consumes your future. You will spend your living days as Cadmus did, in a sort of half-life. Dead while still breathing. As Dumbledore famously proclaimed to Harry, “It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live.”

Learn humility and accept that death is inevitable, and that is should be neither feared nor embraced. Death is not an enemy lurking around every corner but is, rather, an equal who stands at the vanishing point of the horizon. Life is finite and should be wasted on neither the power nor the grief that took over Antioch and Cadmus, Voldemort and Snape. Epicurus was no wizard, but I think that Ignotus and Harry alike would have understood and agreed with his words: “Death is nothing to us, since when we are, death has not come, and when death has come, we are not.” Respect the power of death, but live while you are alive.

Understand that, and maybe we’ll all figure out how to become Master of Death.

Least Favorite Professor

Thu, 01 Dec 2011 11:58:04 -0500

Ay, damn Trelawney and her damn Divination. We all know I hate Umbridge, so I’m not going to talk further about the fact that she’s the Worst Person Ever. Instead, I’m choosing to speak a bit about Professor Sybil Trelawney, possibly the most infuriating professor in all of Hogwarts history. There’s no doubt that having Snape harass you throughout Potions class every day would be frustrating beyond all doubt, but at least he’s a competent teacher who the students could probably learn from (even if doing so meant losing House points and being on the receiving end of humiliation). He’s demanding, but so brilliant at his topic.

I considered complaining about Lockhart, but upon further reflection realized that I probably would have loved his class if I went to Hogwarts because it’s like that class that you go to, sit in the back and text your friends while blogging online, and which you never do your homework for because the teacher forgets he even handed it out in the first place. He’s so easy to manipulate, which just so happens to be one of my specialties.

But no, no. My choice is Trelawney, that irritating, bug-eyed, more-mystical-than-thou woman. She’s not only a useless professor, she’s the type of teacher that takes what could be a really fascinating subject and makes it as dry as the freaking Sahara. Every time Harry goes into her classroom, I can just imagine how stiflingly hot and dimly-lit it is, and all those times that I have desperately attempted to keep my eyes from dropping closed during a boring class come rushing back to me in an unpleasant flood. To top it all off, she makes them do a fair amount of work. Not a fan. If only Umbridge had succeeded in canning her ass.

Favorite Villain

Fri, 18 Nov 2011 11:33:00 -0500

Okay, now it’s time to discuss my favorite villain. My immediate thoughts go to Bellatrix Lestrange, because she is so unabashedly, wickedly, deliciously awful and cruel. In part, I think this is thanks to Helena Bonham Carter’s genius performance in the films. Her unrequited love for Voldemort is such an interesting little sub-plot. And yet… I still think my Favorite Villain Award goes to…

Dolores Jane Umbridge. I’ve already talked about why I hate her, but my reasons for choosing her as my favorite villain are slightly different. We all know that she’s a racist, pompous, elitist, back-stabbing straight-up bitch, and every time I read a passage featuring her, I find myself gritting my teeth. My fingers itch to skip over those portions of the books, and that’s exactly why she’s my favorite. While Bellatrix is tantalizingly insane, she is also unremittingly devoted to the Death Eater cause (and to Voldemort), and this makes her somewhat less of a three-dimensional character. Umbridge wavers back and forth originally between being annoying yet good-intentioned or purely evil with a sugary coating. You can almost admit that she does kind of have a point about the professors at Hogwarts often being somewhat… subpar, shall we say. And you have to wonder to what degree she actually buys into all that she spouts off for the Ministry… unlike Bellatrix, who obviously believes 100% in her “cause” and probably does not see herself as performing in an evil manner, you get the feeling that Umbridge is well aware that maybe Harry was telling the truth about Voldemort returning, and that forcing him to torture himself with her quill during detention was pushing the boundaries of what was acceptable. Whereas Bellatrix would probably hunt down some Mudbloods and Muggles to harm even if she were not in the midst of a war, I have to wonder if Umbridge would have pursued trying to ruin Harry’s life if he had been like, “Yep, I lied! Voldemort isn’t back, no worries!” This is a woman whose devotion to Fudge and the Ministry led her to respond to what she viewed as threats in a totally batshit-crazy manner that included emotional, verbal, and physical torture and abuse of students and professors alike. The fact that I think she knows she is bad and wrong (especially during the “trial” of Mary Cattermole) makes me revile her even more. People who can tell the difference between right and wrong and consciously choose the latter disgust me far more than those who have no concept of the two. J.K. takes my hatred for this and wraps it up in the pink, kitten-covered bundle known as Dolores Umbridge, and it is for this reason that I continue to feel that Umbridge is the most well-written villain of the series.

I also have an overwhelming soft spot for Draco Malfoy (as I know many readers do), but I think I will reserve my thoughts about him for a future character analysis devoted to him and him alone.

How Mothers' Love Saved the World

Tue, 15 Nov 2011 20:46:00 -0500

I intended to discuss my favorite HP villain today, which got me thinking about the Malfoys, which then led me to contemplate Narcissa’s role in the books, which in turn made me realize that I instead would like to talk about something quite different: a mother’s love. JK has always made it very clear that there is a centrality in the series around the devotion of mothers to their children (much of which is probably based on her own mother’s death prior to the publication of the series). But when you think about it, there is so much more to the theme than “Oh, Lily saved Harry! Yay mums!” No, mothers’ love for their children is what saved the wizarding world time and time again. The women involved are not necessarily good role models – or even good people – but the strength of their love for their children has outweighed all other ideologies. There are three primary examples that I would like to discuss – one of a mother’s sacrifice, one of a mother’s fierce protectiveness, and one of a mother’s devotion to her child above all else.

We begin with Lily. By this point, Lily’s love for Harry has been literally pounded into our minds to the point that sometimes I wish she had just stood aside and been like, “Okay, Voldy, fine! Take the baby! I don’t care!” But she did not, and thus, we have Harry Potter. Let’s just take a quick look-see at Lily’s actions: her self-sacrifice allowed Harry to survive Voldemort’s Killing Curse, causing it to rebound and reduce the man who had been terrorizing Britain into a weak spirit. When he attempted to steal the Philosopher’s Stone (which would have ensured him eternal life), he was again thwarted by Lily’s love. As long as Lily’s blood ran in Harry’s veins (and only Harry’s veins), Voldemort – and, by extension, his host body of Quirrell – could not touch Harry. Once more, Voldemort’s takeover of the wizarding world was put off; yet his existence was recognized by Dumbledore, which gave him time to begin preparing for the growing strength of Voldemort again. Even after Voldemort used Harry’s (and, by extension, Lily’s) blood in his resurrection into a human form, Lily’s love continued to impede his plans. This time, when Harry was, for all intents and purposes, killed by Voldemort in the Forbidden Forest during the Battle of Hogwarts, he remained tied to life because of Lily’s blood now flowing through the living body of Voldemort.

Secondly, there is Molly Weasley. Now Molly is just a fucking kick-ass beast 24/7, and the love she has for her children (and for her family as a whole) is endless. But let’s concentrate on that one moment where she definitively alters the course of the Battle of Hogwarts – and, thereby, of wizarding history as a whole – by murdering Bellatrix Lestrange. Everybody wanted to kill Bellatrix, let’s be honest, but her skill and absolute insanity was such that she was nigh invincible. Until she tried to kill Molly Weasley’s only daughter, that is. That was enough for Molly to shove everyone else out of the way and take on the madwoman herself, but throw in the moment when Bellatrix cruelly asked, “What will happen to your children when Mummy’s gone the same way as Freddie?,” and kind, plump, stern, and moral Mrs. Weasley turned into a murderer without shame or hesitation. The reminder that Molly had lost one of her dearest sons, the taunting thought of her children being left motherless (she had long seen how horrible that fate was for Harry), it all was enough to redirect Molly’s focus into a Killing Curse strong and precise enough to bring the downfall of Voldemort’s right-hand woman. She had been the last standing Death Eater during that final battle, and her defeat allowed Harry to finally directly confront Voldemort, which, of course, led to his own death.

The third and final example of a mother’s love that I am choosing to discuss here is that of Narcissa Malfoy. Perhaps more than either Lily or Molly, Narcissa’s actions had the single most direct influence over the outcome of the Battle of Hogwarts and the fate of the wizarding world. Yet she is also a character that had been reviled throughout the entire series for her belief in Pure Blood superiority and her devotion to Voldemort and his cause. While it was obvious throughout HP7 that the Malfoys were growing more and more disenchanted with Voldemort’s insanity, it still came as a shock when she risked death and lied to the Dark Lord, proclaiming that Harry was dead when it was clear to her that he was not. This was not due to some revelation about the equality of those of all blood statuses, nor because she felt guilt about her previous role in the war; no, Narcissa remained someone whose values most would be disgusted by. Rather, her devotion to her son overrode her loyalty to her own beliefs, to Voldemort, to her extended family (including her sister Bellatrix). The knowledge that Draco was even possibly alive in the school was enough to convince Narcissa to take one of the greatest risks that anyone throughout the series had. This was the turning point of the battle, and had Narcissa not gambled everything on her love for Draco, Harry would have been immediately revealed as being alive still, and would (no doubt) promptly have been killed or otherwise incapacitated to prevent his involvement in the upcoming takeover of Hogwarts. I can’t help but find the case of Narcissa particularly fascinating because she, like so many other characters found in HP, represents so clearly what Sirius once said to Harry: “…the world isn’t split into good people and Death Eaters.” Narcissa’s beliefs and actions may have been abhorrent, but the love that she held for her only child elevated her from a one-dimensional stereotype to a complex character who forced readers to contemplate a difficult question – if a “bad” person performs an act that is world-alteringly “good,” what does that say about that person? About the way we look at that person? About the way we define “good” and “bad,” about the lines between the two that we draw so definitively in the sand?

Moving on from that, perhaps even more striking is what the lack of a mother’s love can create. Merope Gaunt was endlessly devoted to the Muggle Tom Riddle, and because of this she used a potion to make him (falsely) fall in love with her. But when she discovered that she was pregnant, her hope was that the baby would force Tom to love her, and she lifted the magic from him. She sought to use her child as a method for convincing the one she loved to stay, which would fulfill her own desires. Yet this is not how things worked out, obviously. Tom Riddle immediately fled the relationship, Merope was left destitute, and she died after giving birth to her son. Her last wish? To name her child after the man who had never honestly loved her or her child. Tom Marvolo Riddle was born, as were the origins of the creation of Lord Voldemort. Without a mother’s love to guide him through his childhood, a baby eventually morphed into the world’s most evil wizard in history.

JK herself once said, “To have been loved so deeply, even though the person who loved us is gone, will give us some protection forever.” Lily and her sacrifice for Harry is obviously the physical form of such a thing, but the love of mothers throughout the series – both those you would expect it from and those whose affection was shocking – protected not only their children, but the wizarding world as a whole.

The Harry Potter Drinking Game

Tue, 01 Nov 2011 14:11:46 -0400

I already realize that this may be entirely inappropriate since this blog is dedicated to the serious and earnest discussion of all things HP, but… I think the time has come for an official Harry Potter Drinking Game to be established. I’ve seen a variety of options online, but they are either quite lame (“take a drink if someone casts a spell!”) or would result in alcohol poisoning (“chug your drink if someone says “Harry”!) So I’ve decided to gather up the best of the best and throw in a few ideas of my own. Some of them will be tailored to specific films, but others are really applicable to all the movies. Enjoy your firewhiskey, everyone, and remember: don’t drink and disapparate!

- Take a drink if:

o Someone says the full name “Harry Potter” — take two drinks if he or she says it in a shocked or overly-dramatic voice

o Ron has a scared, disgusted, or confused facial expression

o Hermione sounds like she’s acting on Broadway because she’s speaking in Such. A. Dramatic. Voice.

o Hermione excessively berates Harry and/or Ron

o Fred and George speak simultaneously or finish one another’s sentences

o Harry clutches his scar when it hurts

o Hermione “eyebrow acts”

o Malfoy taunts or abuses someone — take two drinks if that person is supposed to be someone Malfoy is friends with

o Malfoy looks disgusted with everything about Hogwarts (since all he really wants is to go to Pigfarts)

o Dumbledore alludes to a secret but refuses to talk about it at the time

o Harry has a vision of Voldemort

o Someone tells Harry that he has his father’s appearance and/or his mother’s eyes

o Someone gives Harry the “you are the chosen one treatment” (courtesy of http://www.rottentomatoes.com/user/437343/blogs/)

o Malfoy looks terrified

o Harry is amazed by magic

o Something is taken out of Hermione’s bewitched bag

- Take two drinks if:

o The picture of Harry’s parents dancing appears (courtesy of http://www.rottentomatoes.com/user/437343/blogs/)

o Harry says something “inspirational or reassuring” (http://www.thecrimson.com/article/2010/11/18/take-drink-whenever-harry/)

o Draco refers to “my father”

o Someone casts “Avada Kedavra”

o There is a creepy close-up of Harry sleeping and/or having visions

o Someone has a bad feeling about this, but it’s their only hope

o Harry yells at people for no good reason because he’s *~angsty~*

- Finish your drink if:

o Harry catches the snitch

o Harry points out that he is an orphan and/or his parents were killed — same goes for if someone else mentions these facts

o Dumbledore shares a knowing glance with Harry

o The villain/hero begins a monologue at the end of the story

- Take a full shot if:

o A student at Hogwarts is physically abused by a teacher

o A main character dies

So there you have it – follow these rules and it’s only a matter of time until you’ll be thoroughly sloshed. Goal = HP marathon with all eight movies played back-to-back over the course of 20 hours. You may need to intersperse the alcohol with some more sobering drinks so that you don’t wind up in the Hospital Wing, but regardless: enjoy!

Deathly Hallows, Part 2: Deleted Scenes

Wed, 10 Aug 2011 09:46:00 -0400

A list of Deathly Hallows Part 2 deleted scenes was just released, which means… it’s time to analyze them! (Summaries of scenes taken from thehpsecrets on Twitter.)

“A longer scene with Aberforth, where he does explain what happened in the past.” I happen to personally think that this would have been a great nod to book fans, since Dumbledore’s history was such a huge part of the plot and the overarching themes of the entire series. Not only this, but including this scene would have helped to clear up some of the questions that may have arisen from the vague hints about Dumbledore given in the films, such as how he knew Grindelwald, who Grindelwald was and who he became, why Aberforth was estranged from his brother, how Ariana fit into the picture, etc., etc. Verdict: should have been included

“A scene when Voldemort holds Harry’s head up close to his and asks, ‘Why do you live?’” While it would have probably made for a dramatic scene (and I would have much preferred this over the whole ripping-each-other’s-hair-out-while-flying-around-the-castle thing…), I think there are enough Voldemort-Harry moments similar to this one. Verdict: not really necessary

“Luna leaving Shell Cottage.” Perhaps it wasn’t essential to the plot, but I know a lot of people did wonder how the hell Luna wound up in the Room of Requirement for the final battle. At the very least, they should have included some quick line about Neville getting in contact with her to call her back for the fight. Verdict: not necessary, but it would’ve been nice to include

“Filch with the Slytherin students in the dungeons.” Since I already have beef with the fact that McGonagall banished all Slytherins to the dungeons, I would like to minimize that part of the film as much as possible rather than dragging it out. However, I do love Filch. Verdict: toss it

“The Death Eaters at Gringotts Bank.” I feel like the message that the Wizarding world was on alert for HP and that the wizard guards at Gringotts were trying to apprehend him was clear enough. Verdict: not necessary

“Flitwick’s duel with Nagini.” I usually love me some Flitwick, but if there was one more minute featuring someone “dueling” with Nagini (She’s a snake… she can’t duel. Just sayin’.) I would puke. Harry/Hermione/Ron’s pursuits of Nagini were bad enough as it is, throwing Flitwick into the mix would just insinuate that a single snake was more powerful than three damn wizards/witches. I call bullshit. Verdict: toss it

“Harry walking towards the Great Hall with everyone watching after Voldemort’s death.” I think this would have been great because there was somewhat of a disjointed feeling between the scene in which Voldemort, erm, explodes and the next cut to everybody chilling in the Great Hall. An immediate post-Voldemort scene featuring everyone’s reactions to the news would have been really awesome to emphasize how insanely big of a deal his death really was. Verdict: should have been included

“The Slytherins escaping the dungeons.” Okay, WHAT. I tried to justify McGonagall’s order to send the Slytherins to the dungeons by thinking that maybe she was just sending them to their common room in order to keep them safe and out of the battle, but this leads me to believe that they were locked up in a dungeon. What the hell is this. Not okay. Verdict: get this OUT of here

“Hagrid throwing Death Eaters off a bridge.” Well, it sure would have been nice to see Hagrid before he suddenly appeared tied up in the Forest, and I always like seeing Death Eaters being killed. Verdict: eh, keep it

“A longer version of Ron and Hermione in the Chamber of Secrets.” While that scene did feel a bit short, I think it was necessary to keep the flow of the movie continuing at the same pace. In this case, the whole destroying-the-cup-Horcrux-in-the-Chamber thing was really awkward in the books as well, so I’m kind of glad they kept it short and sweet in the movie. Verdict: no need

“Full Fred’s death.” OMGYES. SO SO SO NECESSARY. Verdict: why the bloody fuck was this not in the film?!?!

“Hermione and Ron moment at Shell Cottage (Hermione already transformed into Bellatrix).” I always always love Ron/Hermione, but I think they get enough “moments” throughout Part 1 and 2. Verdict: unnecessary (although I could never say no to more Helena Bonham Carter)

“An extended version of the Epilogue where all characters have dialogues.” Hell no. The epilogue was bearable in the film only because it was so short and because it cut out most of the appallingly sappy dialogue from the book. Verdict: no, no, and more no

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part 2: Review

Fri, 29 Jul 2011 12:41:00 -0400

So. Deathly Hallows Part 2. What do I even say to the end of it all? No more waiting anxiously for the books to come out, no more eagerly standing outside the theater for hours proudly wearing my Hogwarts uniform, no more childhood… as a quote from another review put it : “Yeah, I’m fine. I’ve just got something in my eye. Like my entire childhood.” Oh, god. Stop me before I start sobbing at my desk at work. But HOLY BLOODY HELL what an ending it was.

The HP movies began as the movie versions of the books, wedged in that awkward place between faithful interpretation and creative expression – and it showed. But by the finale of the series, they have become true films in the sense that, even separated entirely from their literary counterparts, they are fantastic pieces of cinematic work. Everything has matured, from the actors (and their abilities!) to the cinematography, soundtrack, and direction. They’ve stepped into their own, and HP7P2 dominates the rest of them. There were, naturally, parts that I took issue with, but overall I simply cannot say enough good things about it, and it was the ultimate end to the perfect series. During the premiere, the theaters were packed to their limits with fans who cried silently into their Gryffindor scarves, laughed uproariously at the right moments, and broke out into wild applause when the characters kicked some ass. The entire time I had a stunned grin on my face even as I tried to blink back tears, and I wouldn’t have had it any other way. I have to say, HP fans are some of the best in the world, and this movie did justice to all of us, as well as to the incredibly talented actors involved, J.K., and her truly epic masterpiece.

Now, on to the nitpicking review! (Warning: spoilers will be found here in abundance. Also, it’s going to be loooong, and I will quote a few other reviews when appropriate.)

The Mind-Boggling Incredible

Let us begin with the opening scenes: stunning. They set the tone for the entire film – just as Part 1 was melancholy and barren (albeit beautiful),the sinister feeling of Part 2 was immediately established through the recap of Voldemort stealing the Elder Wand, dementors hovering just outside the castle boundaries, and students silently marching through the Hogwarts courtyard. I’ll talk more about the dementors later, but for now just know that I loved the haunting song in the background (“Lily’s Theme,” I believe) and the lack of dialogue. Alan Rickman as Snape is flawlessly unreadable as he stares out of the castle, watching what has become of Hogwarts. My god, pitch-perfect opening. Just perfect.

Next up, we arrive at Shell Cottage and Hermione transforms into Bellatrix. Helena Bonham Carter is Hermione, from the abashed facial expressions to the unsteady walk. Even the gleam of madness that is ever-present in her eyes is gone, and that makes you realize how amazing she is as Bellatrix, to possess that endless glint of insanity so seamlessly the rest of the time. Much later, after Harry has “died” and the Death Eaters are bringing his body back to Hogwarts across the destroyed bridge, she is dancing and prancing around Voldemort. The scene was shot from very far away, so this isn’t an in-your-face detail, which makes it all the better. Bellatrix is always crazy, not just when she’s the focus of the scene.

The CGI of the dragon was just amazingly well-crafted. It’s fascinating to compare the animation of the first movie, such as the troll, with that of the last few. I mean, that dragon was real. It just was, end of story.

When the trio jump off of the dragon into the water, the flashes of insight into Voldemort’s mind that appear to Harry were brilliantly filmed (loved him thrashing in the water), and most importantly, they were believable. Confusion and chaos are somehow always easier to accept as genuine than the completely lucid and crystal clear. Plus for once it made Harry seem as though he was mildly intelligent and capable, as he pieced together what exactly was going on from those random images instead of having it all spelled out for him (which is usually the way it seems to work out).

Okay, one of the best scenes of the film – nay, of the entire series – was Voldemort walking through Malfoy Manor with Nagini slithering along next to him after he slaughtered those at Gringotts who had allowed the break-in to take place. Most. Disturbing. Thing. Ever. It was like a slap in the face to anyone who doubted that Voldemort was not completely 100% batshit insane – hello, this guy is striding barefoot (I LOVE that detail throughout the movies) through blood streaming across the floor speaking in Parseltongue (also LOVED the subtitles, it made it seem like Voldemort’s inner thoughts were being revealed to the audience rather than some outer persona ) as the Malfoys cowered in terror in the corner. I think it also may be the moment when the Malfoys realized that maaaaybe the Death Eater lifestyle wasn’t quite what they had imagined it as. As I phrased it later (following the Nazi motif in the series), “The Malfoys are like the Hitler Youth. It starts out as a fun little afterschool program, and suddenly you’re slaughtering Jews.”

Dame Maggie Smith as Minerva McGonagall is the most motherfucking kickass woman alive. I could fangirl over her all day. “His name is Voldemort, so you might as well use it, he’s going to try and kill you either way.” Swoon. And when she made those statues leap to life? Holy hayzoos, my Hogwarts Battle Pride was on from there on out.

The last Fred and George moment together before the battle was so beautiful and the perfect way to end their place in the series – not with slapstick humor, but with an understated and dignified bravery and wit. Aaaaand commence bawling your eyes out.

When the Death Eaters and their followers charged towards the bridge that Neville was defending, it was such an oh-holy-shit-here-we-goooooo moment.

I was petty ambivalent towards the Hermione-Ron kiss, even though I hardcore ship them, but I did appreciate the little giggle they both gave after they finished snogging, it was so them.

Okay, I have to be honest: I feel quite guilty for feeling this way because it is non-canon, but… I love Neville/Luna. Maybe it wouldn’t work out in the long run, as J.K. pointed out, but still, I can’t help my heart from fluttering at the thought of how sweet they are together. So when Neville frantically sought out Luna to tell her that he was “hot for her” (at least I think that’s what he said in his accent?), I was entirely satisfied. And then to cap that off later with a scene of them quietly sitting next to each other on the staircase after the battle – well, that’s just how it would be, I imagine.

My favorite sequence of the entire movie (and therefore possibly of all the movies) was the battle montage as the trio made their way to the boat house where Voldemort was waiting. Oh god. OH GOD. I don’t even have adequate words for the way that the music (“Courtyard Apocalypse”) and cinematography paired together made me feel. The acromantulas, the giants, the graphic and brutal imagery, Greyback feasting on Lavender’s corpse – this is when it transformed from a “magical fight” to a real, convincing war, with or without charms and spellwork. Just… just. Holy shit.

One other note about the battle scenes: there was an instant during which a giant working for Voldemort was taken down by vines that broke through the earth and tied the giant down during its charge on the castle. It took me a couple times of seeing the film to appreciate the subtle nod (even if unintentional) to the books, during which the “grounds of Hogwarts themselves seemed to rise up” against Voldemort’s forces. A tiny detail, but it was one of those things that made seeing the film for a second, third, fourth time worth it.
Snape’s death scene was explicit, striking, and disturbing as hell (possibly even more so than in the book), and it was also just so utterly sad. I once stated in a previous post that I didn’t feel terribly upset reading about his murder in the book because I reserved so much dislike for his character, despite the back story, but the movie… well, I think this may have changed my mind, which is unusual. Also, in the background of the boathouse a Gryffindor scarf was hanging on the wall – a fitting tribute, I think, to a man who showed what real bravery and loyalty is.

When the trio goes back into the castle and discover the dead in the Great Hall, wow. Rupert Grint reveals just how superior his acting chops are when he howls over the corpse of Fred, just collapsing in grief. The rawness of his performance here is perhaps the pinnacle of his acting in the series.

So then comes the Prince’s Tale. Again, in the book I was never totally devastated by this whole story arc, but the film made me cry here, I’ll admit it. When Lily told Harry, “Mama loves you, Dada loves you” – ugh, can you hear my heart breaking? And although everyone has said this a thousand times, I will say it once more, in all caps even: GIVE ALAN RICKMAN AN OSCAR ALREADY. Nobody else could ever come close to touching his performance as Snape, and the image of Snape holding Lily’s body as baby Harry looks on is one that lingered in my head long after the movie ended. Alan Rickman carried this series, hands down. I can’t say enough good things about his acting in this scene.

Another bit of great acting comes from Daniel Radcliffe as he portrays Harry realizing that he must die, as well as from Emma Watson when Hermione sobs, “I’ll come with you” (and that’s saying something, as Emma’s performances prior to the seventh film revolved around her wiggling her eyebrows and shouting every line). Goodness, the young actors in these films have matured into really wonderful performers.

The Malfoys just walked away from the battle across the bridge, Narcissa holding Draco’s arm and leading him away as Lucius nervously scrambled after them. Perfect ending to their story arc.

Okay, I just found this hilarious in a neither good-nor-bad sense: Voldemort bitch slaps Harry and then full-on punches him. Neeeeever ever thought I’d see that.

The epilogue was… better than expected, at least. And mercifully shorter, too.

A couple random quotes that I thoroughly enjoyed, whether because they were amusing or tragic or what-have-you:

- Ron in the Room of Requirement, to Goyle: “That’s my girlfriend, you numpty!” I’d never heard the word “numpty” before, but apparently it’s a popular term for numbskulls in Scotland.

- Voldemort, to Lucius: “Lucius, how do you live with yourself?” “…I don’t know.”

- Ron: “I’m just sayin’, that’s the Elder Wand.” I just never expected to hear Ron Weasley utter the words “just sayin’,” and I shamelessly loved it.

- Lily in the Forest: “Always.” This was such a subtle but beautiful tie-in to Snape telling Dumbledore the very same thing about his love for Lily. Snape’s endless love for Lily propelled the series forward just as Lily’s endless motherly love for Harry was the other pillar upon which the series rested.

- All of the lines that they kept in the King’s Cross scene… they could easily have been cut out, but I appreciated that they retained them since many of those lines have become famous among the fandom.

- Ron, to Hermione regarding the Room of Requirement: “You said that last year.” “You’re right… I did… Brilliant.” This, to me, was a perfect representation of their relationship – Ron seems like an insensitive jerk who never really appreciates Hermione, but in truth, he listens to and remembers every little thing she says.

- McGonagall, to Harry: “And Potter? It’s good to see you.” Heart just stopped.

Overall, the destruction of the Hogwarts visuals was just incredible. To see this beautiful set that you’ve grown to recognize and love reduced to crumbled ruins… wow. I am honestly shocked that Stuart Craig has yet to be recognized by the Academy for his set design – I have never seen someone put so much passionate care into crafting every single tiny detail to make a world come alive. To get an idea of the work involved: http://www.wired.co.uk/news/archive/2011-07/19/harry-potter-fact-gallery/viewgallery#!image-number=1

The development of Harry as a character that was so clear in the books also became remarkably apparent in this film, but in a manner that was understated. He didn’t suddenly start leaping around with unrestrained bravado, but, rather, showed a new sense of confidence. This was found especially in the opening scenes at Shell Cottage when Harry calmly demanded answers from Griphook. Whereas a younger Harry may have had a row with Griphook when he refused to help (“It’s complicated”), Harry now realized that it wasn’t worth the effort, and that sometimes it’s best just to give in by a degree in order to move the situation forward. Anyway, subtle details in his character, but a really nice sense of development nonetheless.

The Ginny-Harry tripe was better than usual…

The MUSIC. Oh god, Alexandre Desplat, just marry me now. Or score the soundtrack to my every waking moment. He even incorporated “Hedwig’s Theme” and “Lily’s Theme” into “Snape’s Demise”! Favorites = “Statues” and “Courtyard Apocalypse.”

The Problems

Harry uses the Imperius Curse on a goblin in Gringotts. An unforgivable freaking curse, people! And yet he reacts… not at all. This is supposed to be a holy-shit moment for Harry, when he comes to realize that things used for evil can be put to use for good as well – he comes full-circle from his argument with Lupin earlier in the book when he refused to Stun someone who had been coerced into working for the Death Eaters. The moment falls flat in the movie for me.

Take the above criticism and add in the fact that said Imperius-ed goblin was later roasted by the dragon and it was used as a joke in the film. Maybe I’m being too uptight about it, but to me, having someone who Harry cursed get killed by a dragon because of that very spell and intending for people to laugh at it is in bad taste. Especially considering that in that same confrontation with Lupin in the book, Harry vehemently stated, “I won’t blast people out of my way just because they’re there. That’s Voldemort’s job.” Yet… he just did, and the only reaction anyone has is Ron muttering, “That’s unfortunate.” Yeah, it’s unfortunate that you just accidentally murdered somebody.

Why is it always snowy in Hogsmeade, even in May? This is especially odd considering that Hogwarts is like a mile away and looks like summer. Awkward.

One of the main issues that I raised in my they-better-cover-this-in-Part-2-or-else post was the need for Dumbledore’s back story. Sadly, not only was this entirely absent from Part 2, but the movie completely erased one of the huge points of the book. Harry declares to Aberforth that he “doesn’t care” about the history of Dumbledore, or about what happened between Dumbledore, Aberforth, and Ariana, that he “trusted the man he knew.” Well, that just entirely reverses the whole character arc in which Harry realizes that perhaps he never really knew his mentor, and perhaps his unquestioning trust was unwise. Granted, I understand that fitting this entire subplot into the movies would have been difficult, but still – disappointment.

Harry never got the chance to use the Cruciatus Curse on Amycus Carrow to defend McGonagall. :( Sadness. I also thought this was another major character development moment for Harry in the same way that him using the Imperius Curse on the Gringotts goblin was. Plus, I really just wanted to see Harry go ape-shit on someone who dared disrespect McGonagall.

Okay, this may be able to be explained away, but on first (and second) viewing, I have major beef with McGonagall’s order to Filch to take all the Slytherins to the dungeons when Hogwarts was in war-prep mode. Talk about lumping all the supposed “bad guys” together just because they’re Slytherins… I mean, that was such a major theme in the books, that people have the choice to act however and become whoever they want to, despite what labels and expectations may be thrust upon them (even though J.K. also kind of threw most Slytherins under the bus…). The only possible way to smooth this over in the movie would be to reason that perhaps since the dungeons are where the Slytherin common room is anyway, they were just being sent to stay in their common room. But still.

I cringe every time the scene between Helena Ravenclaw and Harry comes up. Oh dear lord. There is no explanation of whose the diadem was originally, why Helena would want it destroyed, why Tom Riddle wanted it, how she knew it had been “defiled by dark magic,” etc., etc. It took away precious time that could have been used elsewhere on the plot and was pretty poorly done in my opinion. Plus, as another reviewer pointed out, “Grey Lady, if you know Voldie had corrupted the diadem, how did you not go to your headmaster and go, ‘So, by the way…’?” I’m on the fence about how I think the ghost actually looked, since it was far different than those in the other films, but her appearance reminded me too much of those brought back by the Resurrection Stone, and that’s such an important distinction to make: the Resurrection Stone does not bring back ghosts. Ah, well.

Neville is a bad ass mofo, we all know that. And his running-on-the-bridge-to-blow-up-Death-Eaters scene was brilliant, but then he falls off the bridge and is just barely clinging to the edge of it and no one goes to help him up!!! They all just stare at him. What. HELP HIM UP you fools before he does fall off the edge and die!

Fred’s death scene was cut offensively short, as in blink-and-you-missed it short. This would have been so hard hitting, and instead they allowed the tragedy of it to just kind of fizzle out, especially when Arthur Weasley is shown next to Fred’s dead body looking bored rather than being devastated. Take some lessons from Ron, Arthur. That’s how it should be done.

Although I loved the way that the Forest Again was filmed, there was no prior reference to Lupin even having a child – I still just do not understand why they never mentioned it in Part 1, going so far as to cut Tonks off in the middle of her telling Harry!

Hagrid’s entire reaction to Harry surrendering to Voldemort and being killed was a fake-sounding, “Harry?! No!” No tears, no struggling to get out of the ropes holding him (which were never explained…)? This was the man who fled Ministry agents after holding a “Support Harry Potter” party in his hut, the man who saved Harry from the rubble of his parents’ home, who told him he was a wizard! Come on!

All I could think of when Harry woke up in King’s Cross was, “Oh, there’s Daniel Radcliffe!” because he didn’t have any glasses on. I know this followed the book, but it didn’t stop me from feeling removed from the film universe for a few minutes, and I didn’t feel that it was a good place to have that sort of disruption. My other complaint about King’s Cross (although I did like it very much) was that Dumbledore’s appearance in all-white immediately reminded me of Gandolf from Lord of the Rings, once again taking me out of the film and into reality, which is never good.

I love Neville, let me just say that. However, however, however… his battle speech was just tragically cheesy. Harry died what, like, five minutes ago? And he’s so quickly saying, “Oh, yeah, Harry died, but NBD guys, he’s in our hearts!” That rubs me the wrong way. Or, as another reviewer phrased it: “…they replaced Neville’s awesome ‘I’ll die before I join you! Dumbledore’s Army!’ with an Inspiring Speech About the Harry Potter in All of Us.” And then when I thought about what he said a little more, I realized that when he listed the names of people who had died in battle, he listed every major character that the audience would recognize – yet Neville himself didn’t even know some of those people (for example, Tonks)! Huge oversight in my opinion.

Then suddenly Harry isn’t dead. He leaps out of Hagrid’s arms and everyone reacts, oh, barely at all. I mean, this was supposed to be an enormous tide-turning moment but that really doesn’t come across at all. In addition to this, there was no second wave of battle reinforcements for the Order, no magical creatures coming out to support the anti-Voldemort side (I really missed the centaurs and house elves) – that was something that was so clear in my head, and I kept waiting for that EPIC moment, but it never came.

The snake chase. What the hell was that. It made a scene that was so intense in the book far more lackluster. The whole time all I could think was, “Why didn’t Hermione just stun the snake and then stab it instead of throwing a rock at its head?” Ugh. Ugh, ugh, and more ugh. If you’re a witch or wizard, use it.

A couple things about the Voldemort-Harry battle were just really bad, in my humble opinion. The Voldemort-Harry apparition during their duel was bizarre on a whole other level. They spent about a full minute clawing at each other’s faces, and it in no way added to the tension of the battle. I think in this case it was a matter of those involved with making the film failing to take a truly critical eye to whether or not such a scene was even necessary. It once again took me out of the moment because I wanted to laugh instead of biting my nails down to the quick in anxiousness. Then there was the “wand connection” between them that happened… twice in one fight. This doesn’t even make sense. It looked exactly the same as Priori Incantatem, but obviously wasn’t, so… why? It just takes the drama out of the times when such a connection was needed. And lastly, the final fight between them. So much to say about this. At the time of viewing it I wasn’t really bothered, but upon thinking it over later, I take serious issues with a few points. In the books, Harry won because of the intelligence and complicated logic behind the Elder Wand back story – he could never win, or even attempt to fight against Voldemort in a duel of purely physical or magical might. That’s the thing about Harry, he’s not an exceptional wizard or particularly skilled at much of anything, whereas Voldemort is; the difference, though, is that Harry is an exceptional person. I think that got lost in the final battle. Additionally, there were no witnesses, which again dulled down what was one of the most intense scenes in the series in book form. Quote from another reviewer: “I love the general idea of Harry walking back into the Great Hall and going, ‘Okay guys, it’s all good! War’s over! I killed him! Yeah, just now, out back in the courtyard! Well, no, there’s not a body…’” So yeah, then Voldemort died and… turned into little pieces of paper? To me, that comes across too much like his disappearance in Sorcerer’s Stone, from which he returned. It was necessary, I think, to make the distinction that this time Voldemort is dead for good, that even after all of his attempts to make himself “more than human,” he died as an empty husk of a person, just like everybody else. As another reviewer said, “Harry’s life would be so much easier if he knew Voldemort was made out of tiny pieces of burned newspapers.”

A lot of people complained that there was no joy in the Great Hall after the battle was over, but I thought that the movie captured that well because a war, even after it has ended, is not something to celebrate, and there were too many dead and injured at the time. I believe that the film provided an accurate portrayal of the sense of shock that must have reigned at the time, rather than outright sadness or jubilation. However, then during the pan around the Great Hall, we see Dean, Seamus, and Aberforth getting drunk and laughing uproariously while everyone around them is in the process of reconciling their grief. Very, very out of place.

Last scene: Harry stood on the very edge of the bridge, and all I could think the entire time was, “What are the chances he falls off right now by accident?” If I had just been inches away from death, I think I’d do my utmost to stay alive a while longer, not go wandering to the edge of a precipice. And then the trio stare into the distance at… nothing? I think it would have been more powerful to have them staring at Hogwarts, and have the closing scene show us their backs, but maybe that’s just personal preference.

Things that were never adequately explained:

- Why was Dumbledore’s hand was cursed in Half-Blood Prince? It was referenced in Snape’s memories, but without the Dumbledore story, nobody would pick up on the fact that he had tried it on in a desire to see his family once more. For that matter, how did Dumbledore even get the ring in the first place?

- What was the point of the entire Deathly Hallows plotline (you know, Cloak is never emphasized at all?

- In Gringotts, Hermione (as Bellatrix) refused to present her wand to the goblins when asked to do so, which would make no sense to a non-reader viewer since it was just established in the previous scene with Ollivander that Hermione does, in fact, have Bellatrix’s wand.

- There’s no reason given in the film for the Caterwauling Charm placed over Hogsmeade to go off somewhere else in the village (thus distracting the Death Eaters)… so… why does it? Again, just something that lacks an explanation in the movie version. And it’s obvious that it is not due to Aberforth since the Death Eaters run in the opposite direction. So confused.

- How the hell was Harry supposed to have gotten the random shard of the mirror in the movie?! I know Aberforth bought the larger mirror from Mundungus, but… apparently Harry decided to break it before that happened and hang onto a piece of it?

- And speaking of how-the-hell-did-that-happen, how the hell was Snape leave him the Sword of Gryffindor? Without Phineas Nigellus’ portrait, and with no other explanation provided in the film, I can’t understand how this happened.

- All of the students who were hiding out in the Room of Requirement showed up in the Great Hall when Snape summoned them… so… what was the point of them hiding in the first place then? We never find out why or where they were in hiding, for that matter. Total explanation fail.

- As I mentioned previously, why was Hagrid tied up in the forest in the movie? Totally valid quote from another reviewer: “…Hagrid’s just there, captured by the Death Eaters, with no explanation of how they got him or why he’s there. The camera doesn’t even acknowledge his presence until he speaks, so it’s just like, ‘Okay, Hagrid’s here. Wait, what?’”

Overall, I think the movie could have been a bit longer and could therefore have contained more explanation, but as far as the pacing went, there was a brilliant balance between the fury and tension found in the battle scenes and the quieter, more poignant moments.

I know that many people took issue with the fact that humor was scattered throughout the film at seemingly inappropriate moments, but for the most part I will defend it in this particular case. Actually, this contributed to making the movie a reflection of the book in more than just the plot: one thing that J.K. was most renowned for is her ability to work laughter into the most tragic of scenes – indeed, one of her strongest statements is perhaps that even in the most desperately dark of times, laughter is never entirely lost. I will note, however, that there were instances in the film when the attempts at humor were severely misplaced (see my above comments on the goblin’s death, for example).

Voldemort became a real villain in this film, i.e., not just a one-dimensional one-size-fits-all “bad guy.” It’s interesting, as I wasn’t expecting this development in such an action-packed plot, but as I mentioned before, his insanity really becomes apparent, as does his chilling ability to seem bizarrely normal (or as normal as a hairless, red-eyed, snake-man can seem). The thing about Voldemort is that he is immensely intelligent – brilliant, even. But his brilliance is overshadowed by the fact that, you know, he’s a madman, and the eeriest thing about Voldemort may be his ease in transition between the two. One moment he will turn and murder Pius Thicknesse purely out of a surge of anger and fear, but a few scenes later he seems to recognize that if he is to “win” the war, he’ll have to become almost politician-like. That’s what’s disturbing, seeing Voldemort uttering in such a falsely genuine voice to those opposing him, “From now on, you put your faith… in me.” He allows Neville to speak even though it’s obvious from his facial expressions that he’d much rather just do away with Neville as he did Thicknesse. Most unnerving was Voldemort’s open-armed hug of Draco as he joins the Death Eaters – Voldemort is conscious of the manner in which humans are supposed to act, but it is so obvious that gestures of humanity are utterly lost on him. The hug is more than just awkward and humorous, it’s unsettling. Ralph Fiennes is more brilliant than ever in the role, and even though Half-Blood Prince failed to bring the character to life as it did in the book, Fiennes’ performance in this film makes up for that by far.

The contrast between the imagery of the dementors guarding the castle in Prisoner of Azkaban and then floating outside the perimeter with a sort of perverse eagerness (almost as if they were just lying in wait for the chance to rush inside the walls and give every last soul a good long Kiss) is so striking, and I think that’s what is truly amazing about Deathly Hallows Part 2. The film reflects on the previous seven films with such grace and subtlety that it makes the audience all the more unsettled as they watch the demise of Hogwarts. In the Room of Requirement we see Cornish Pixies lurking amongst the rubbish and hear very faint strains of the song that always played in the RoR scenes in Half-Blood Prince; McGonagall comments that Seamus has a “particular proclivity for pyrotechnics,” as was made obvious in the first few movies; Trelawney and Parvati are the ones who cover Lavender’s corpse with a blanket. There is an almost unconscious sense of revulsion because thanks to these details and the cinematography, instead of thinking, “Oh, they’re blowing up the building where the kids go to school,” one can’t help but recoil and feel like shouting, “This is Hogwarts! How dare you tarnish Hogwarts this way! This is where the students danced to the Yule Ball, got stuck in trick steps, watched in astonishment as food appeared on their plates thanks to the work of the house elves below, traipsed across the lawn to visit Hagrid’s hut for some rock cakes and treacle tart, sat under the tree next to the lake as the giant squid lazily waved his tentacles above the water, skirted the edges of the Forbidden Forest and toed the line of danger and rule-breaking, curled up in a squashy armchair by the fire in the Gryffindor Common Room playing Wizard’s Chess during the cold winter evenings, this is home, this is magic!” It makes the viewer sick inside, as they should. Hats off to you, Yates and company, for this accomplishment.

I truly feel that those involved with making this last film understand the story and layers of meanings within it far more thoroughly than in the case of any previous movie. For example, although in the book there is no mention of Filch during the Battle of Hogwarts itself, the film inserts him in the Great Hall, where Slughorn is solemnly trying to fix Filch’s bloodied arm. Filch looks up with his usual grimace and quivering jowls, but somehow the movie made me feel a tenderness for him that I never expected to feel. That sentiment repeated itself after the battle was over and Filch was shown diligently beginning to sweep up what seemed to be endless mountains of rubble; for the first time, I appreciated just what Hogwarts must have meant to Filch – a place for him to feel as though he still belonged in the wizarding world, even though he was a Squib, a precious thread connecting him to what he yearns to be. He cares for it meticulously year after year, and I never even thought of that until those two brief scenes in the film. Suddenly the character of Filch became more three-dimensional. To me, that is what an incredible film adaptation of literature should do – not just spit out the information found on pages onto a screen, but add an additional depth to the tale. Deathly Hallows Part 2 does this in a stunning fashion, and I, for one, am just blown away by the attention to detail and the care that was put into the movie.

I’m actually taking my final note on the film from another review, which summed up my feelings towards it in a far more succinct fashion that I would ever be capable of: “EVERYTHING WAS BEAUTIFUL AND EVERYTHING HURT.”

It's Time For a New 30-Day HP Challenge, Folks

Wed, 27 Jul 2011 07:28:29 -0400

…beginning with a review of HP7P2, which is forthcoming. GET READY.

Day 29: A Very Potter Musical

Thu, 14 Apr 2011 12:39:51 -0400

A Very Potter Musical (AVPM, for those in the know) was possibly one of the best things I have ever discovered on the Internet. Seriously, I am so in love. Unfortunately, the sequel (A Very Potter Sequel… how creative!) wasn’t nearly as good, but still worth experiencing. I will never look at Draco Malfoy the same way again after seeing Lauren Lopez’s amazing performance. Plus, I have a sudden fondness for Red Vines.

All I have to say is that if you haven’t already seen it, go watch. Now.

Day 28: Wizard Rock (Wrock)

Wed, 13 Apr 2011 16:01:00 -0400

On occasion, I listen to Wrock. It makes me realize that HP will never be over, and that there are some people out there who get it. Sigh.

A few top choices: Accio Love//Ministry of Magic; End of an Era//Oliver Boyd and the Remembralls; Open at the Close//Oliver Boyd and the Remembralls; The Boy Who Lived//Oliver Boyd and the Remembralls (pretty much anything by him, actually, since the singer can actually sing); Amortentia//Let’s Lumos (feat. Oliver Boyd and the Remembralls); Harry Potter (Before We Say Goodbye) (technically this one isn’t Wrock, it’s just a parody of “Hey, Soul Sister,” but it’s SO catchy and wonderful); Like It’s Quidditch (again, a parody of “Like a G6,” but far, far better than the original song).

Day 27: Choice of Hallows

Mon, 11 Apr 2011 11:51:58 -0400

Oh damn. Now this is a good question, since it’s one that even the trio contemplates and argues over in Deathly Hallows. Ron said “Elder Wand”; Hermione said “Invisibility Cloak”; Harry said “Resurrection Stone.”

I say: invisibility cloak. Not just because I’m Hermione, but because the other two choices have some serious drawbacks. I don’t want to surround myself with shadowy half-dead people, and god knows I don’t need anything else in my life to make me think I’m going even more insane than I already am. I don’t really see a need to beat everyone in every fight ever because, well, I rarely fight; and if I do, it’s usually with words rather than a wand. Plus feeling that I need the most powerful wand in existence just kind of goes against my whole new find-a-tiny-corner-of-the-world-and-hide-from-the-rest-of-society mantra. However, an invisibility cloak? How freaking awesome. How many times have I wanted to spy on people? Only like every day of my life. Just… yeah. So awesome and far more useful than the other two Hallows.

Wow, I guess this question was a lot easier to answer than I thought it would be. Whatevs.

Day 26: My Choice of Wandless Spell

Sat, 09 Apr 2011 12:59:26 -0400

Okay, so why would I not want a wand to perform these spells? Like… is the point to be super sneaky or something? I guess I don’t understand this question.

How about this: if I didn’t have a wand, I’d want to be able to perform Expelliarmus sans wand. That way I’d win a wand and have the ability to cast all those other spells that require a wand. Ha.

Day 25: Opinions on the Epilogue

Sat, 09 Apr 2011 12:26:51 -0400

The Epilogue does not exist in my world.

…okay, I wish I could just leave it with that simple, succinct statement, but I can’t; the Epilogue makes me too queasy not to rant about a little.

Firstly, why was it written like a bad fanfiction? This is not the JK that I know and shower with adoration 24/7 – this is a pale imitation of her. Rumor has it that she wrote it at the same time as she wrote Sorcerer’s Stone, and it shows. God, it is so damn cheesy. The only good thing about it is that it distracted me from how devastating finishing the last book was; instead, I was just pissed off.

Secondly, the characterization of, oh, everybody was completely screwed up. Hermione would not have popped out two kids and settled for a job somewhere in the Department of Magical Law Enforcement. As the brightest witch of her age, this seems like settling. Just saying. Ron… okay, Ron probably would work at Weasleys’ Wizard Wheezes; I wish he’d stayed doing that instead of going and becoming an Auror with Harry – it was time for him to forge his own way without being HP’s sidekick. And everyone had like twenty kids when they were alarmingly young – Ginny had her first child at age 23 at the oldest, Hermione had hers when she was 25. That just doesn’t sound accurate given their characterization at all.

Most annoying, everything was wrapped up in a neat little package with a bow on top, as if every single aspect of a post-Voldemort world is kittens and rainbows and butterflies. Neville liked Herbology – how about that! He’s the Herbology professor now! Angelina Johnson married George – how convenient, since she went to the Yule Ball with Fred! Actually, pretty much everyone in the story is married to someone that they went to Hogwarts with… how many people do you know who discovered their future spouse before age 17 and never met anybody after that? Doubtful. Oh, but also, the Weasley family is apparently taking over every aspect of the wizarding world ever – Teddy Lupin is dating Victoire so they’ll probably get hitched and then Harry can be related to both the Weasleys and to Lupin and Tonks, and look how everybody loves each other! And worst of all: the names. Not only are they awful (James Sirius, Lily Luna, Albus Severus?!) but Harry’s bizarre forgiveness and sudden veneration of Snape just caps it all off. He named his child after a complete asshole who was obsessed with his mother. Really? Does nobody else find that mildly disturbing? Not to mention the fact that Harry says that Snape is the “bravest man he ever knew” – yeah, he was brave, but he was also someone who would have most likely continued to support Voldemort completely if Harry’s mom hadn’t been killed! NOT OKAY.

Lastly, let’s take a look at the final words of the entire series: “All was well.” Really? REALLY?

It pains me how much I hate this.

Day 24: Scenes Missing From the Films

Thu, 07 Apr 2011 21:38:23 -0400

Oh, how many scenes fall into this category! I feel like the best way to approach this would be to re-read every book and subsequently watch every movie and then rant and rave about everything missing in the films, but to be honest, I simply don’t have the time for that. So these are just a couple things off the top of my head that I remember feeling disappointed at due to their absence in the movies (not necessarily plot holes, just scenes I missed).

Sorcerer’s Stone

Snape’s potion challenge through the trapdoor – I don’t know why they cut this out! Maybe to make the audience think that Snape was the bad guy for an extra scene by not including his defense? Still, this was a stupid move in my opinion because not only would it have been a cool scene, but it’s also important in later books that Snape was acting as a good guy on Dumbledore’s behalf to protect the stone. Not to mention the fact that it was Hermione’s moment to shine in the Sorcerer’s Stone; Ron got to be a chess master, Harry battled Voldemort, and Hermione got to… create sunlight with her wand? Tend to Ron’s wounds? Kind of lame, WB.

Chamber of Secrets

Nearly Headless Nick’s Deathday Party! How awesome would this have been?! Hundreds of ghosts, rotting food, musical saws, the Headless Hunt? Plus it actually provided a reasonable excuse for the trio to be wandering around the halls.

Prisoner of Azkaban

Every scene explaining the Marauder’s Map ever. Come on, WB.

…for some reason I can’t think of any other particular scenes that I feel are missing from the third film right now. I’m sure there are, however.

Goblet of Fire

Winky the House Elf’s entire plot line! Without her, our only introductions to the world of house elves are through Dobby (waaaay too over-eager and annoying in the films) and Kreacher (just creepy as fuck) – we never get to witness the depths of house elf devotion to their masters and how twisted their treatment by wizards is. She also helped to explain the entire Barty Crouch, Jr. plotline at the end of the novel… kind of important. Taking her out simplified the plot but also made it seem way more two-dimensional (which is sad considering how million-dimensional JK makes the books).

Along the same lines as Winky, SPEW – or should I say, S.P.E.W.? This was essential to deepening Hermione’s character in the fourth book; her obsession with SPEW was the first time that I became simultaneously exasperated with and in admiration of her endlessly stubborn sense of right and wrong, even when it aggravated everyone around her and seemed unreasonable.

The maze! What was that maze?! Okay, in the book, the maze was the coolest thing ever, and I wanted to go through it like every day of my life. A spell made the world turn upside down; the Blast-Ended Skrewts attacked; there was a Sphinx – instead, we saw Harry run through a windstorm in between some bushes? I don’t know, it was weird and really disappointing, especially as the climax task after he’d already fought a dragon and rescued his friends from mermaids.

Ludo Bagman’s awesomeness throughout the entirety of the Quidditch World Cup and the Triwizard Tournament – god, he would have made an awesome character!

Speaking of the Quidditch World Cup, how about including the Quidditch World Cup? Biggest tease (and most unwieldy jump cut) ever.

Order of the Phoenix

I had totally forgotten about this until I read it online somewhere: Harry’s talk with Nearly Headless Nick after Sirius’ death when he asks Nick how people become ghosts and Nick explains that Sirius would choose death over a “feeble imitation of life.” The concept and intricacies of death are one of the essential points of the series, and this was a pretty important addition to the overall message, especially because it was the first time that Harry loses someone he loves (no, his parents don’t count, he was one year old) and he is forced to accept that even in the wizarding world, death can be final and irreversible. Also, after understanding the concept of Horcruxes, Nick’s statement takes on additional significance: Voldemort chose a “feeble imitation of life” by splitting his soul in order to avoid death. (Side note: could Voldemort return as a ghost? Was this ever addressed in any way? Ahhhh!)

Percy betraying his family – this deepens the complexities of the Weasleys by about a thousand-fold and allows the most Epic Family Reunion Ever to occur in Deathly Hallows. Sigh.

Neville’s parents at St. Mungo’s. Huge character development piece for Neville, absolutely huge. Also, it makes Harry realize that there are worse things in some ways than having dead parents, i.e., seeing them driven to insanity; it’s always somewhat gratifying to see Harry realize that maybe he doesn’t have the worst-most-melodramatic-life-ever-while-everyone-else-dances-in-fields-of-butterflies. Everyone has secrets, and it’s a big moment also because the trio recognizes that you can know someone for years and still barely know them at all in some of the most significant ways.

“Weasley is Our King” – I just really want to know what tune to sing this to.

Half-Blood Prince

The meeting between the Muggle Prime Minister and Fudge – I just absolutely loved, loved, loved that opening (far more than Harry’s awkward flirtation with a waitress, which never would have happened in the books).

The battle at Hogwarts, which was important because not only did it reveal how the DA actually stood up and fought when they were called upon to do so, but it also explained why Bill was totally scarred thanks to Greyback (which would have been a far better manner of accounting for his injuries than the uncomfortable info dump at the beginning of Deathly Hallows).

Apparition lessons – it’s important to understand why all of a sudden the characters can go popping all around Britain without any problem in the seventh movie. Plus, it would have been fun to see the students totally failing at appearing in hoops in the Great Hall.

All of Voldemort’s other memories that Dumbledore had collected through the years. These. Are. Essential. To. Understanding. Voldemort.

Deathly Hallows

Yeah, I’ve already addressed my gripes about Part 1 and hopes for Part 2. See previous posts.

Day 23: Scenes That Make Me Cry

Thu, 07 Apr 2011 21:35:48 -0400

Oh, my. Of course there are those watery-eyed moments, I doubt any true fan made it through Deathly Hallows (the book) without shedding a few tears. To tell you the truth, I’m not a big crier, though, and I wasn’t found weeping when the series ended; instead I slowly stood up and just kind of staggered around like a zombie, dazed facial expression, proclaiming aloud, “It’s over. It’s all over.” But there are a number of key scenes that make me heave a long sigh and sniffle, all the while protesting that of course I’m not crying over Harry Potter, what an inane idea! Here are a handful (spoilers, as usual):

Book Moments

When Fang was trapped in Hagrid’s burning hut at the end of Half-Blood Prince. Okay, firstly – Hagrid’s hut is all he has. You cannot burn his hut. Secondly, FANG!! Anytime a dog is described as “yelping” in fear or pain, I feel like someone stabbed my heart.

Fred. Dead. Need I say anymore?

The moment in which Colin Creevey is described as “small” in death. I think this is the first time that I ever appreciated Colin as being loyal and remarkably brave (to the point of being foolhardy sometimes) instead of just annoying and twerpy… somehow it hurts to realize that nobody ever thought of him in that manner during his life.

In the cave when Dumbledore is begging Harry to stop pouring the potion down his throat. Once you know exactly what he’s imagining, that scene becomes, oh, about a thousand times more tragic. Harry is, for the first time in his relationship with Dumbledore, the one who is in control, and he has to force his mentor – who he admires so much for his strength and composure – into unimaginable mental and physical anguish. For the very first time, Dumbledore is weak, and it hurts to witness.

Film Moments

The dancing scene in Deathly Hallows. Yes, it was made up by Steve Kloves. Do I care? No. If ever the relationships between three teenagers tied closer than family, all facing evil and darkness and pressure and love far beyond their years, was to be summarized into the length of a single song, it happened here. I can’t say enough about how much this scene punched me in the gut – it’s desolate, cold, empty, and Harry and Hermione were just abandoned by the one person they never thought would leave, and they’ve just realized that there’s a huge void between them due to Ron’s absence, as well as the fact that they are all each other has in the world. Okay, enough gushing. I know some people hate this part of the movie, but I will endlessly defend it.

Dumbledore’s death. Wait, no. Not his actual death, but the scene where everyone raises their lit up wands towards the sky and the music swells. Sometimes it strikes me as being corny, other times… McGonagall just looks so sad! The wizarding world is crumbling! If it wasn’t for damn Ginny hugging Harry it’d kill me every time.

When Amos Diggory started screaming, “That’s my son!” after Harry brought Cedric’s body back. Ohmygod. So heart-wrenching.

Things I Did Not Cry Over (Does This Make Me A Horrible Human Being?)

Dobby’s death in the film. While everyone else was sobbing, I couldn’t help but raise one eyebrow in skepticism when he melodramatically declared, “HARRY POTTER” in his awkward accent.

Snape’s death in the book. Granted, I thought he was evil. But still, re-reading and knowing that he wasn’t, I still am not terribly upset about his death. Yes, it was disgusting and cruel, but… look, just because he had a semi-obsessive crush on Lily doesn’t mean he was a saint whose death should be wept over. Just sayin’. However: Snape’s last lines are pretty hard-hitting when you take into account the whole background story.

Harry being an orphan. Could that storyline possibly have been recited to death any more than it was? Oh, he has his mother’s eyes, and his father’s hair! But… they were killed! It’s all so tragic! After a while, I think I started kind of smirking when Harry would get all angry and randomly scream, “My parents are DEAD!”

Day 22: Harry Potter vs. Twilight

Mon, 04 Apr 2011 13:18:39 -0400

What. What. WHAT.

This question is only about a trillion times worse than the books-movies one. This question is the equivalent of a thousand puppies being run over with a steamroller driven by Attila the Hun. I am repulsed. In addition to the endless stream of reasons that I could provide you with, allow me to suggest that you check out the following blog for some good, solid evidence on why exactly Twilight is an abomination to literature: http://reasoningwithvampires.tumblr.com/

Day 21: Who I Would Bring Back From the Dead

Mon, 04 Apr 2011 12:35:32 -0400

It’s amazing to think about how many characters met their deaths (almost all untimely if you ask me), especially if you consider how innocent the series started out. Ooh, magic! Wizards, owls, cauldrons, how wonderful! I never expected it all to get so dark, but it did, and as it did, characters started being offed left and right. So who would I wish back to life if I could (spoilers ahead, once again)?

Fred Weasley. I know he had to die in order to show that just because the Weasleys were a big, happy family that everyone loved, they most certainly weren’t immune to the harshest realities of war. You don’t get to choose who lives and who dies. But his death was the hardest to absorb because he’s part of a pair – he and George are practically Siamese, and they finish each other’s sentences and thoughts. Have the two of them ever even gotten into an argument? George without Fred is like peanut butter without jelly, pretzels without nutella… I could go on and on. Even though it was supposed to make me feel warm and fuzzy when I found out that Ron went to work at Weasleys’ Wizard Wheezes, but it just made me feel empty because Fred was not there. Oh, god, I feel like crying again right now just thinking about it. I read some random person’s review of Deathly Hallows (the book, not the film), and he/she perfectly summarized the way that I wish it could have been, but realize is an impossibility:

Point is, in my books, George Weasley has two ears, Fred Weasley did not die, and the two of them are placing Dungbombs on Voldemorts grave.